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Community Corner

Fathers: I'm So Glad They Have Changed with the Times

Dads are taking a larger role in the family structure, and I for one am happy about it.

With Father’s Day coming up this weekend, I figured this would be the perfect opportunity to celebrate dads. Just like moms, dads don’t always get the credit that they deserve. So let’s make sure to show them on their special day how much we love and appreciate them. 

It’s hard for me to wrap my brain around the fact that dads were never in the delivery room. They would take their spot in the waiting room, patiently waiting for the nurse to let them know “it’s a boy/girl!” That just seems so wrong. When I was in labor with my daughter, my husband was the only person I wanted anywhere near me (except for the lovely anesthesiologist who gave me my epidural!) I could never imagine not having him by my side for the most amazing experience of my life. Thankfully, over the years, the role of fathers has changed. 

When my mom tells me stories of how her father would come home from work, sit in his chair and be waited on hand and foot, I cringe. The thought of my husband walking into our home, not interacting with me or our daughter and expecting me to serve him his drinks and his dinner, is enough to make me scream. I would have been a terrible wife in the 1950’s. I believe in an equal partnership. My husband cooks, takes care of our daughter and helps clean up the house and I am not opposed to taking out the garbage.

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Over the years, men have taken on a much different role. They are no longer the sole bread winner in the family, they no longer make all of the decisions and are no longer the heads of the household. Yes, women have become stronger over the years, but I like to believe that men, too, have become stronger. They aren’t afraid to have strong women in their lives.

Even though my husband was raised in a household where his mother was a happy homemaker and his dad NEVER changed a diaper. (Seriously, he never ever changed a diaper. I’m not joking!) My husband was never one to not take on his share of household (or baby) duties (no pun intended). He helps wherever he is needed, whether it is bath time for Madison or loading the dishwasher. He would never say to me “I’m not doing that, it’s a woman’s job.” He knows that if he did say that, one of Madison’s diapers would magically find its way under his pillow.

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My husband and I were recently watching The Real Housewives of Orange County. One of the wives was saying her husband was her “king” and that she was made from his rib so he was the one in charge. My husband and I looked at each other and laughed, finding it hard to believe that anyone still thinks that way.

"Wow, this guy has discovered a way to brainwash his wife. I need to know his secret,” my husband joked. I proceeded to tell my husband that unlike that guy on the show, my husband is secure enough in himself to not need a wife to bow down to his every need and that he should be happy that he isn’t the type of man who feels the need to control his wife.    

Men have even taken over the role of primary caregiver to their children. I love that there are stay-at-home dads. I’ve had the opportunity to hang out with them at music class, the library and even in our mothers’ group. They don’t feel out of place or fear that they won’t be accepted. They are a part of the group and it’s so great. Their children are getting to experience something that most children never will.

I am proud that dads have come so far and I will make more of a point to let my husband know how much I appreciate him and everything he does for me and Madison. So this Sunday on Father’s Day, make sure the fathers in your life know how much they mean to you and your children.

Happy Father’s Day, dads!

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