I’m all for a clever, well-timed promotion.

Our recent Black-Out (waived adoption fees for all black cats) looks like another winner! Black Beauties are flying out of the shelter into new, loving homes, which is great because black cats are often overlooked.

In the fall of 2010, we jumped on the standing-room-only San Francisco Giants’ bandwagon with our Black and Orange special: $9 adoption fees for any dog or cat with black or orange-ish coloring (man, are we glad the A’s, with their green and gold, didn’t take that magical playoff ride).

I’m also proud to say I was the guy behind the first-ever (only?) neuter surgery described live (snip-by-snip) on radio. To celebrate national Spay Day and draw attention to the importance of owners fixing their pets, the Peninsula Humane Society invited Alice Radio morning personality (and Serra High grad) Hooman to broadcast live from our surgery room.

Of course, there were a few tasteless comments which we expected, and Hooman asked to keep the, ahem, dog parts. I gave him a small package and told him not to open it until he was back at the studio (I placed two kiwis inside).

We all had fun. More importantly, Hooman and Alice were great partners and helped us bring an important message to a new audience.

Still, we do have boundaries.

A local pole dance instructor wanted to hold a fundraiser for our shelter animals. In less than the amount of time it would take an exotic dancer to shimmy down a pole, we said thanks but no thanks.

Had we gone forward, I could have had a field day on taglines and themes. 

Lap Dances for Lap Cats. Push-Ups for Pups.

We could have turned the stripper poles into big scratching posts and had the dancers paint whiskers on their faces. 

And none of this would have been good.

If you’re thinking no professional non-profit would ever go here, guess again. 

A humane society in Kentucky partnered with Hooters to bring local residents Hooters for Neuters. While male patrons swilled beer and ogled hostesses inside the iconic eatery, their male dogs got snipped in a mobile spay/neuter clinic in the parking lot. I don’t make this stuff up.  At the end of the day, between the guys buzzed on beer and the dogs dopey from anesthesia, I don’t think anyone was walking straight. I don’t know how many dogs were fixed; regardless, the venue wouldn’t fly for our Bay Area supporters.

This holiday season, we decided to launch something simple – no strobe lights, pole dancers, short shorts, Hooman or Giants. 

This December, we’re offering 50 percent off all adoption fees and calling it “Home for the Holidays.”

That’s the goal.

A home for all of our shelter pets this holiday season.

This includes 31 kittens, one king snake, two rats named Luigi and Mario, a dozen bunnies, about 50 or so dogs, and a partridge in a pear tree. 

OK, that last one is actually a cockatiel.

The 50 percent off deal has no strings attached and no snappy hook. 

But it may have a bonus in a few cases. 

We just received a shipment of 225 dog sweaters, free to us from a dog rescue group in Hong Kong. Apparently they get overstock pet items donated fairly regularly. And, since their weather is milder, they have no use for the sweaters. 

We sure do, given our recent cold snap.

Our Coyote Point facility, which houses all our stay and owner-surrendered dogs, looks like a Bill Cosby fan club with all the styles and colors. And I can guarantee these loud sweaters won’t get returned this Dec. 26.

Adoptable dogs at our new Lantos Center don’t have as much need for them since they have cozy dog dorms, but volunteers slip them on when they go out for walks in our chilly weather. So, the dog you adopt at 50 percent off may come with a sweater.

Now, when we have a big community party to show off the wildlife facilities inside and on the roof of our new Lantos Center (details coming shortly), we’ll definitely have some hooters.

As in Barn Owls, Great-Horned Owls, and maybe a Saw-whet Owl.